MAY 02 2004
LOCATION: ST HENRI " STINKO DE MAYO"
HARES: FUKLORIC & TOTAL FUCK UP
" The following is a true record of the events as narrated by the scribe of this hash"
Okay fellow hashers you can breathe easy now your Pulitzer winning scribe is back from her business trip. It's shitty when work gets in the way of my social life.
What a beautiful day for a run. After last week's fiasco with temperatures and wind chills in the 0 C mark we certainly were blessed. The sun came out and the temperature hit the high teens. All and sundry showed up in their red shorts, must add that Thrills has a great pair of
gams. Appears Total Fu*k Up got on his knees and begged the gods to give him a break. Last I heard this lad always manages to live up to his name. Fukloric claims she gave him a slow and deep shag this morning to help him out.
What a day " Stinko De Mayo", felt like Mexico, warm, lots of beer and a Mexican co hare. The hares issued the usual instructions about markings especially to our American newcomer KOSHER VIRGIN hasher Just Matt. Bets are on how long he remains a virgin, kosher hasher with Going Down around. Total Fu*k Up's general direction for the on on was a simple" follow that piece of
arse" belonging to that attractive local bird strolling along the street.
Off we went to the left and down along the canal, and across the bridge. The FRB"s took off and the shiggy got going. Love this area, as there are bicycle / jogging paths along the river and it is quite beautiful and took us away from the traffic.
About 2 miles into the run at the Canal we hit a checkback fu*king 25. Along came
SLOC, Dead Dick, Just Matt, where was the other b*stard Figleaf .The pack reunited and we found our way across the park and followed the ON ON calls along Bourget Street. Again, on the Jogging path and along the tunnel, check were many and the trail was well marked. Looks like Total got a great deal on flour this week.
Dead Animal, Skinflint and Cheap Thrills were in the middle pack and enjoyed the fact that they did not have to do the
checkbacks. I am usually a middle pack runner but for some reason I decided to do the checks on this run as we lost the FRB"S so off I went, Abbot and I taking turns with DA & Foxy as the pack reassembled.
About 45 minutes. into the run what should I see at the park on St Gabriel but
SLOC, Dead Dick& Just Matt counting checkbacks, up to 7 now on a checkback 20 Ah! Poetic justice boys, had to run your bollocks off. Heard SLOC screamed at Matt " Not checkback number 7 it's 10" can't count you daft Yankee .I can certainly say one has to be a Daft C*un to be a FRB on a run like this one. Who the f*ck sets a run with a
C.B. 20 after 3/4 hour of running in 20C temperature, only a Total F*ck U p. Joined the FRB's and we ran together for the next 40
mins. Bloody hell I decided to "bash on" and run with the FRB's. We Hit the Atwater Market, he takes us through the market which is crowded on a Sunday with all those yuppie townies, Abbot followed in close pursuit as the natives looked stunned at 2
ars*holes yelling ON ON and looking like Birks with no life. But we were having a fu*king great time, great weather and we would be one of the first to hit the cold ones. Also looking forward to some Tequila shots.
DA disappeared and as usual the general consensus was the
f*cker from the UK cuts trail so he could get to the on on first and get started on the bloody cold ones. His wench Foxy should get out her whip and flog him for cutting trail. I could imagine Foxy using that schoolteacher tone with her proper Brit. accent." Now DA you were a bad boy , drop your trousers, and DA being a
wuss, responds " How low dear".
The next 5 mins were great getting to the On ON beer, Spectacular job hares, excellent pack control you
f*cking split us up but that's all part of hashing, some annoying, ingenious falsies, checks and
checkbacks. Arrived at the rooftop balcony where Sloc, Dead Dick, Just Matt, the Hares and Dead Animal were already having a swig of cold Blue.
FRB'S got in about 5 minutes before I arrived with Abbot, about 10 minutes behind were Muddy Nipples, Trills, Skinflint, Organ and Foxy who by the way never cuts trail like that
"poofter" she lives with, the walkers arrived about 15 minutes later led by the bird " Going Down". Figleaf was one of the last to cum in because he brought Crocus with him and had to stop on the trail to scoop up the
Waited for all to arrive and the munchies came out, guacamole dip with crisps and black bean wrapped in a Tortilla .Of course DA asked for hot stuff and proceeded to eat all of the Mexican chilli peppers Fukloric had in the flat.
Dead Animal after chili meal and a night out on the piss
Our wonderful hares brought out a box destined for the rubbish. It was filled with red dresses from last Year's Red Dress Run, any takers .We all started rummaging.
Two birks, Sinnerbad & Figleaf wanted the same dress, he looked like a poofter wearing the
da*n thing. Sinnerbad tried it on and it looked great, or so she thought. So she swizzed him and took it home. Word on the Hash is he is still winging about this and wants his dress back because he has bigger tits than Sinnerbad and fills it out better. Sinnerbad is ashamed that any male hasher could have bigger tits than her or look better in a dress than she does, so she just may not show her face on the hash again.
By now we are all into our 2nd or 3rd beer and everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather, a Montrealers dream, to sit outside. Almost everyone returned except Figleaf.Total Fuck Up is busy
"snogging" Fukloric in the kitchen. Our leader finally arrives, downs a cold one , and the best
f*cking circle this year begins…..Figleaf opens the...
Amah : SLOC ( Sinnerbad has decided the person who pours the beer has a name)
Demo of Down down SLOC , Just Matt
Lava life dating Thrills, Just matt
Retournees Going Down, Muddy Nipples,Abbot,Skinflint,Deep Bush,
All Mexicans Chili Bones, Fukloric
Insolence in Circle Muddy Nipples
Following directions Sinnerbad
Shitty Run hares
Worst Stats Organ ( 33 runs none hared)
Figleaf Claiming he was last in because 2 sheilas were looking
for teenie weenie and stopped him…
RA : Abbot
New Cummer Just Matt
FRB Just Matt
Can't count checkback Just Matt
Catching the hare Slitdigger
Cutting Trail Dead Animal
Catching a dead hare Slitdigger
Awarded the numbskull Dead Animal
Never haring run / lazy bastard Organ
Nice pussy remark to harriett Thrills Dead Animal
Inter generational coupling Sinnerbad & SLOC
Shopping on hash Chili Bones
Daft cu*nt cannot remember words to so Blow Job
Not Cumming all winter Going Down
Thanks to our hares for a great run with wonderful Mexican food.On ON to MC Gibbens Pub for dinner and a general night out on the "piss".
Where is the Crutch, last seen in Dead Animal's possession……