Montreal Hash House Harriers
Run #169 - 4th Annual 69-with-a-swine pig roast & hash
May 20, 2000

Hares: Woody, Zebedee
Hashers: Shall hereby be reduced to the status of a cardinal number - 57 in all - (you didn't expect me to name you all now, did you?)
Scribe: Tigress (Stand-In)

The Trail

There are Hashes and Hashes... I've been chased through paddy fields by a mad water buffalo and followed hyena droppings at 3,000 Mts. above sea level.  Nonetheless, the Pig Roast Hash at St. Lazare is worthy of mention, as I was running behind a horse's derriere bellowing ON ON.   The St. Lazare Hash has turned out to be "one of the best" according to TFU.   Mustapha added that it "possessed a variety of elements united by common theme -- sand."  There were a number of 'dry' jokes, as the runners were expected to wade across water or scramble through thick forest. (FRBs forgot their machetes and suffered the consequences of being torn to shreds by the raspberry bushes - the Rambo effect, I was informed!)  The run started off and seemed to follow the same route as last year, according to Skinflint.  Could this have been the reason for the cockup with the in and out trails???  I can't be too precise about how many checks and how many falsies, as I pride myself as being a full-fledged member of the wimp brigade.

Trail Ratings

Poo Bare: 8.5/10  "Not enough sand" (Surely PB, after the accolades for your Hash last week, you could come up with somehing more meaty?)
TFU: was not available to ocmment as his Haberdashing certainly went to his head.  How many CC (Capt. Cnaada) soiled T-shirts did you sell anyway??
Skinflint:  10/10  "Muddy, shitty, wonderful" (You were asked to describe the Hash, not Muddy Nipples)
Abbot: 9/10 "Far too short, not hilly, not enough sand, too much snow." (we did have melted snow, Abbot!)
Matthew (newcomer): "Very good." (stick around an you'll get to be more elaborate in word and deed!)
Dead Animal: "The high number of false trails resulted in pack-spread -- should have been 2hr for the men." (Is this guy for real?!)
Neutron Bomb: 8.5/10  "Rubbish, but I liked it.  Too much sand, too many snakes, frogs and horses."  (Glad you noticed those horses, too, for I was beginning to think they were a figment of my imagination.)

Down Downs

To the Newcomer: who took aaages to down his half-full, plastic, disposable, get-on-with-it, why-are-we-waiting, we could be master..., glass of beer!!!!
To Retard: named for getting lost.
To Returness: from last week and the week before -- a deulge of eager, thirsty, notice-me-please, bunch of losers!
To Go Go Boy for a commendable double somersault (that would put Jane Fonda to shame)
To Foxy for pathetically trying so hard to get the kids to like her, she was providing signed autographs.  Whose autograph, and how exactly did you come by them?  For providing what kind of favours????
To Yogi, Poo Bare and Eat Me for something or other to do with 50. Could it have been the sum of? Oh! what the hell- CONGRATULATIONS for 50 Runs on the Montreal Hash House Harriers.

RA Offenses

To Mustapha for watering the trial - and when asked "Are you?" was heard to beelow "Shaking"!!!
For Hash disrespect shown by the GM in person - throwing the Hash Horn! (You were asked to stop blowing your trumpet when those horses went by, not throw it!)
Captain Canada was called in for having killed his car and his excuse for retiring from Hash Dray is: NO WHEELS.  (Mismanagement, forget about the next T-shirt -- Bl*w Job, there you go again getting your knickers all in a twist -- LET'S GET CC A NEW SET OF WHEELS!

Dead Animal shows off the dead animal.

Hashit awarded to Numbskull for abuse of Hash property as the circle looks on

When you gotta go, you gotta go...

Thanks to Abbot for the photos.

Run #179 - 169 Hang Over Hash
May 21, 2000

Hares: Foxy Lady
Hashers: Bodily present but somewhat worse-for-wear were the following:   Eat Me, Mustapha Kunt, Oral Supplement, Grand Masterbator, Foxy, Dead Animal, Abbot, Capt. Canada, Turkish, Skinflint and Muddy Nipples
Scribe: Turkish Delight (Stand-In)

The Trail

This craftily laid trail had even Dead Animal momentarily confused.  Foxy apparently laid almost exactly the same trail here two years ago.  No matter since the Hashers in attendance either mindlessly forgot it or weren't there.  The trail was very wet.  All participants came back with Muddy Nipples and/or other muddy parts.

Captain Canada claimed to be too crapped out to comment on the trail.  Can this be true?
Mustapha: 8.5/10 "Interesting use of a suburban landscape, wilderness mud combined with sedate bungalows to create a primordially Canadian experience"
Captain Canada sometime later: "It sucks when you can feel the rotation of the planet"

Down Downs

To Dead Animal and Numbskull for disrespect.  N'skull wore a hat in the circle (GM experience notwithstanding) and DA for being the Soul of Disrespect.
To Foxy, the Hare, for laying what must be one of the best trail this year
To Turkish, Stand In Scribe for revealing the imminent arrival of a Penguin baby
To Capt. Canada for being Much Reduced -- and in what must be a first -- for being too hungover to enjoy a down down
To Oral Supplement who had a near-death experience with a golf ball
To Mustapha for being a Biking Bastard
To Eat Me for many sins: getting a new computer, using it to spread the Love Bug virus, and running 50 mugs without actually receiving a 50-mugs run.  Or whatever.

Religious Offenses

Down downs to Muddy Nipples and Skinflint for groping the RA (he's complaining?)
To Mustpha for a reason that Stand-in-Scribe missed (Whino, please come back.  All is forgiven)

On On!