HASH   1 8 8    July 23, 2000

The Place:  Downtown Montreal on Oh-So-Trendy Crescent Street

The Hare:  Mustapha Kunt

The Scribe: The Lovely and Talented O A P

The Hashers:  Oral Supplement, Sex-on-Tap, Fly by Nite, Whino, Snow Job,
Brillo, Old Cheddar, The Abbot, LOB, WOB, Numbskull, Capt. Canada,
Neutron Bomb, Dead Animal, Foxy Lady, Turkish Delight, Muddy Nipples,
Skin Flint, Total F*#*#up, Kathy( veteran of run # ONE, but with no Hash
name), OAP.                                                      

The Trail: Grotty, then Snotty!  A calm and sedate group of Hashers
departed from Brutopia on Lower Crescent Street and proceeded north to
where the beautiful people preen, prance, and have staring contests with
themselves in the mirror. The trail was a bit hard to find as much of
the flour had been snorted, using tiny straws, by the aforementioned
beautiful people. The Hashers then went through various disgusting and
repulsive alleys and lanes. The challenge was to simultaneously find the
flour, avoid the carpet of broken glass, step around the puddles of
questionable origin, and disregard the occasional human scat.
(Scribe's note: If Mr. Hare only would have seen all the signposts in
many locations, he could have overcome some of the problems.
                                 P All day  $5
Many of the local rubbies did Pee, could not collect their five bucks,
and so broke bottles. For a University maven, this was not his finest
moment!)
At last, the unwashed Plebeians crossed into Westmount, where the air
smelled sweeter, the streets were cleaner and the only broken glass was 
from Lafitte-Rothschild.
The assemblage then paused for respite at Michael D- a watering hole in
the Old Westmount Post Office. Lick-my-Lizard, in true fashion, arrived
in a direction totally different from the rest of the pack. This is also
where our virgin hasher, Sarah, kept on running as she "did not want to
break her rhythm". She was never seen again.
The runners then proceeded into the rarefied atmosphere of Higher
Westmount, while the walkers straggled back along Ste Catherine Street.
Let it be noted that most of us poorer folk parked on Dorchester (oops-
R. Levesque) whereas the well-off Debbie, L my L and the Cheese whistled
into a PAY $ 5 parking lot.

Hash Fashion: The two Kims are to be commended. One, unsure of her own
anatomy, wore shorts that had printed above her gluteus maximus, Bum
Equipment.
Perhaps this helps her to identify what is what. The other Kim was a
vision in color co-ordination in Blue and White. From the top please
maestro . . . a blue and white scrunchie, a blue T - shirt, white
shorts, white sox with little blue frills and white under thing (she
told me I did not peek even once). The ensemble was completed with Red,
White, and Blue footwear.
                    Of course, our undisputed champion was L my L: Just
before down-downs, she whistled into the little girls' room to
CHANGE    HER   ENSEMBLE. She came out in a long sleeved blue and white
blouse and pale blue jeans. The jeans, in a throwback of two decades,
had Bo Derek beads. (This scribe is still shuddering at the very thought
of coming to a Hash with two (2), count 'em two,  outfits.)

Kudos: to Mustapha Kunt for discovering the Brutopia which offered
Designer Beer.
           to our in-lust couple for a decorous afternoon where hands
were kept in
           plain sight and tongues were only used for talking.
           to Prior F. for the Family French Fries but no kudos for the    
one lousy chicken
           sammich which he refused to share.

Down-downs. Returnees were Abbot, OAP, Brillo, Mus.K., Turk. Del.,
Sex-on-Tap, SnowJob, Skinflint, Catherine
Broken Boneage: victim LOB and the Perp - Fly by Nite
For Fifty Runs: WOB
For Having a Lorgnette (sorta):  the Grand Master Emeritus (hint to GME:
go to dollar store and spend $2.75 on a new pair)
For Hash Fashion: to Lick my Lizard   see above
For a Birthday: to Turkish Delight and Mustapha Kunt.
For a wonderful Scribe: to OAP
For Robin the Serving Wench (whose Mom Hashes in Vancouver), Jeff the
Brutopia manager and Skewbic Hair's brother Alan for BRUTOPIA.

SINS: lack of visible Hash attire to (drum roll please)  LICK MY LIZARD
            and to GM for forgetting Capt Can b'day          

Back to Nature: Oral Supplement wanted to do CPR on a dying butterfly,
but did not know the manner of butterfly kiss (of life) to get a
butterfly going again, so she allowed it to expire. (We suggest she
peruse "Everything you wanted know about sex but were afraid to ask")
The good intent was there OS. The butterfly is in insect nirvana.

Upcoming hash: On Roller skates or blades, or . . . .  if you must, on a
bike or even feets.
There will be B B Q. Please bring a barbequeable piece of something