Run #200
Montreal Hash House Harriers
The date: October 1th, 2000
The place : Mount Royal
The Hares: Grizzly Gypsy and Cousin It
The weather: Just soopah ! ! ! Clear, no wind and a temp. of +24 degrees
Hash Scribe: OAP
The Hashers: Muddy Nipples, Panty Ho, Witchy, Louise, Raymond, Capt. Canada, Oral Supplement, Numbskull, Flipper, Pop-A-Weenie, Krystal Tits, Katy, Double Fisted, Grande Poutine, Blow-Job, Brillo, OAP, Old Cheddar, LOB, WOB, Foxy Lady, Dead Animal, Bushman's Thong, Brigitte, Turkish Delight, Mustapha Kunt, Darren, Eat Me, Neutron Bomb, Total F***-Up Lick My Lizard
The Trail: Across Fletcher's Field, past the Tam-Tam (of interest was the fact that the flour was not sniffed by neither the flower children nor the hordes of unwashed types lolling in the sunshine). We continued west around the periphery of Mt. Royal to Mount Royal Blvd. We then cut back into and up up up in the woods. We eventually arrived at the back side of Mt. Royal Cemetery just above the U.of M. stadium - the site of field hockey at the '76 Owelympics. On the return trip, we passed the residence of the late Robert Bourassa (on Maplewood & Pagnuelo) the house where P.E.Trudeau was born (McCulloch near Maplewood), and the Lebanese consulate (Cote Ste Catherine). As well, the tour included the site of the original Dunn's "Famous" Delicatessen. (Mt Royal & Park Ave.) The FRB's were not privileged to partake of this insightful expose of Montreal's past because , well, they are FRB's. (next time this inkstained wretch will show you where a famous Mob type was gunned down on Mt. Royal Ave in the thirties).
Some observances: Even though yours truly,as a first aider and first responder, has seen some pretty sick shit in his life, nothing prepared him for the sight of Captain Canada sprawled on Turkish D's sofa, looking like a reject from the morgue. His skin looked like a trout's belly, his tongue was lolling and his eyes had the appearance of a fish several days past the "best before date". O.S., bless her horny little head, later tried to revive him by mouth to mouth. T'was to no avail; she made a fast dash for the Listerine.
Down-downs: The down downs were preceded by brief history of the Montreal H3 recited by Foxy and Dead Animal - including the famous 2nd hash with two hares and no hashers. To the Hares; Grizzley Gypsy and Cousin It -the latter celebrating his virgin lay. To the Short-cutters: DA, Capt Can, and OAP. (let it be noted that the good Captain, during his shortcut, in the spewing and hurling division, tossed last night's oysters and beer. He is said to have qualified in both distance and artistic arrangement)
To the returnees: lots and lots of them Milestone Runs: Dble Fstd (10), Raymond & Louise (five consecutive runs) To the Newcomer: Brigitte To the Latecomer: Lick My Lizard - Dear Reader, please get an ample supply of tissue as this tale will make grown men weep and women swoon. Our directionally challenged and time challenged friend called Neutron Bomb on the latter's cell phone not once, not twice, not thrice, but a total of S E V E N times to mewl "where are you?" The last and final call came through when we were already past the Tam Tam. At that point Deb's phone time was finished for the year, so she tossed her phone into the TamTam Portapotty. All this, by the way, lends credence to the tales of PointeClaire Search & Rescue having to find Lick My Lizard after she got lost on a 3 am pee trip to the toilet. Oh yah, LmyL got a down down for being late for the umpteenth time (Guiness Book of Records- please copy)
To the Dickhead: Foxy , for creating stylish Moooooosehats for the CIBC run. Pathetically, someone (LOB?) bought ultra cheap material for the headgear. Runners' sweat made the hats bleed and poor numbskull's T-shirt started to blush. Nevertheless, the hats attracted quite a bit of positive attention.
To the Triathletes: The Alcatel duo of Mustapha K. and LOB participated in the over 45 category. They placed a respectable third in a field of two women's teams and one men's team. Well done guys!
New Hash name: Denis is forthwith to be known as Panty Ho.
Birthday Folk: Poutine 45 . . . BJ 22 . . . Krystal Tits 69 . . .
The company then retired to the hospitality of chez Mustapha K and Turkish D for a repast of Chili, sparkling wine, and an absolutely beautiful 200th anniversary cake with the Montreal H3 moose on it. It was a prize for the eyes and yummy in the tummy. Cake baked and decorated by Pooh-Bare's sister. She can be retained for your special events.
