Montreal Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash, R*n #221 (Old Montreal)
18-Feb-2001

The "Where-did-you-find-parking" Hash
by Double Fisted, stand-in scribe

Hares: Poo Bare, Bush Pilot (virgin lay), Bl*w Job

Hashers:
Dead Animal, Foxy Lady, Numbskull, Wild Bill Hickeycock, Oral Supplement, Captain Canada, Skinflint, Abbot, Total F*ckup, Easy Ride, Speed Hump

Weather: Please refer to last week's gosh-darn-it-cold weather.

Pre-Hash:
Got to the bar where Poo Bare and Bush Pilot were waiting for the hash to arrive. A out-of-towner was waiting, Wild Bill Hickeycock and noone else. (It seems to me that noone of you people have a watch and I suggest that the hash gets official watches which will be given out at the 100th or 150th or 200th hash. Better yet, give them out at each hash naming. ) Anyway, a lonely pile of nachos were waiting to be loved and digested which I diligently did. Cause noone should be neglected and I believe one should never refuse food. Bush Pilot then expressed a need for dry socks which I volunteered. We waited for other wankers to arrive and arrive they did. We discussed all sorts of things. Well, Captain mainly expressed his outrage at the crappy directions, a few times. We all figured that if Speed Hump can find it (she missed two or more hashes cause she got
lost!!), it couldn't be that bad. He was also outraged at the price for beer. $14 a pitcher!! TFU walked in with a maple pull. Apparently he found parking right outside the bar- in the spot the maple pull guy had his stand. TFU figured that it was a parking spot and the guy should move.

Trail:
The trail lead us around Old Montreal to Notre Dame where we ran through knee-high snow (Now I know why Bush Pilot borrowed a pair of dry socks: I want them back!) and then through a make-shift soup kitchen. From a distance I was wondering why the group was just standing there. At this point it seemed unappropriate to yell "On-On."

The trail went down a straight-away, the kind FRBs like, and up a short hill to a overpass which gave us a lovely view of the Casino. Here the wind was unbearable, really cold. I walked/ran with Oral Supplement and if I got the right angle, she slightly blocked the wind for me...heehee!! I  bullied her into shortcutting with me, and along the way picked up TFU. As we were walking back to the bar, we saw Wild Bill running towards us. The rest of the moron-er-hashers had turned right a while back and he had continued running since he didn't know what 3 blobs indicated. (In Boston, they use an "X" or "F" to indicate a false trail. We hash with Madrid rules.) Being the FRB he was, he soon caught up with the group but we didn't have the heart to say we were short-cutting.

The three of us took a leisurely walk through Old Montreal towards the bar and window shopped a bit. There was an incredible store full of puppets and dolls where I reached for the door and ----there was Numbskull, looking for the keys to the car.

He and I went to the car and left TFU and Oral to shop. Apparently he lost the trail (probably cause the blobs were 10 metres (10.93 yards for Wild Bill) apart!!) and returned to the bar.

We moved to the front of the old and drafty bar. And ordered many pitchers of overpriced beer. TFU and Oral brought some peanuts and warned us not to decorate the place too much. I'm sure Muddy Nipples still has nightmares about the hash at her house.

Down-Downs:
Bush Pilot, Poo Bare and BJ for being hares.
Wild Bill Hickeycock for being a wanker from Boston.
DA, Foxy Lady for being returnees (I may have missed someone though.)
Easy Ride, DA and Foxy Lady for being late-cummers.
Foxy Lady for teaching the NY Hash some hash songs.
Poo Bare got at least 5 down downs for I can't remember but it was funny to watch her turn green during the last down down.

There were others but I can't remember so sod off!

TFU, Oral Supplement and Double Fisted for shopping.

Songage:
We sang Swing Low, earning us some dirty looks from the barkeep and server. Wild Bill, Numbskull and Abbot lead us in a song, whose name I don't know but that was fun as well. I think there was a zoo song, but again, my memory fails me.

Après-Hash:
Yogi arrived late and we enjoyed some more beer courtesy of Easy Ride. THANKS MAX!! We adjourned to the Soup place cause it was near and cheap and yummy and I like it there and noone else wants to make a decision. :)  The walk down was cold and windy like every other day.

We all gathered around the table and enjoyed our meal. *yummy soup* Wild Bill told us how he got his name. (Apparently he got all nasty and dirty with a fellow hasher and they found proof of this on his neck.) Then dispersed into the night...

To summarize: Still cold, expensive beer, good soup, out-of-towners are better runners but Montrealers are the "best."

Submitted by
Double Fisted, stand-in scribe