Montreal Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash, R*n #233 (Ile des Soeurs)
06-May-2001

by Double Fisted, Hash Scribe

The "Catch-the-Hare" Hash

Hares: Krystal Tits, Numbskull

Hashers: Bl*w Job, Muddy Nipples, Speed Hump, Penguin, Witchy, Flipper, Pop-A-Weenie, TFU, Double Fisted, Foxy Lady, Dead Animal, PVC, Eat Me, Captain Canada, Oral Supplement, Old Cheddar, Yogi, Crashman, Devil, Humper, Tigress, Mustpha Kunt, Turkish Delight, LOB, WOB 

Weather: Beautiful, gorgeous!! Sunny blue skies with a light, cool breeze, about 22 degrees.

Pre-Hash:
Well, I must say I got up pretty darn early at 8:00 am after a night of chatting and drinking. (Are you surprised??) Max was nice enough to wake me this morning with his "feed-me" dance on my head making me think a nice "meat" bbq may be held soon, very soon.

I drove to Lasalle to pick up the embroidery sample and went to Muddy's house hoping she had food (Also please pardon any typos cause I can't quite lift my arms. I went to the gym in an attempt to develop some muscle mass so the dragon boat team doesn't throw me out of the boat for being dead weight. Can I tell you that my arms ^&%$##$% hurt now. I could barely lift them to wash my hair after.)

After consuming a lovely croissant and a glass of orange juice, ("Muddy, this orange juice looks funny?" "That's because its lemonade." "Oh."), we left to fetch Bl*w Job who's been AWOL lately.

The drive to the carpark was nice with the windows down and us chatting about what I am sure was very important at the time. As we drove into the carpark, Numbskull was seen with a bag of flour to help those who may be lost.

The Trail:
The hare left shortly after 1 pm and we waited to allow her the 10 minutes head (Who said head?) start. Numbskull explained that the checks would be a triangle with a blob and then continued that "bloody foreigners" had different rules and Krystal Tits couldn't make circles.

Dead Animal gave us the countdown and at 9 min 30 sec, he started. The rest of the pack went after him with the smell of blood or rather flour in our noses to catch the bushy-headed hare. We ran by a enclosed area where I am sure they are planting something pretty or yummy. They looked at us as we went by with a strange, What-the-f*ck look in their eyes. As we found the first check, we were still a tad shocked at the sight of the trianglar check but we looked anyway. We ran down the pretty, gravel lane which went parallel to the river.

At the next check, it was in a playground and we all seached for the trail. there were blobs of flour everywhere and we were terribly disoriented til we
heard the blast from Dead Animal's horn and went after it. (Those horns are very useful sometimes, though, I am sure they weren't developed to annoy Max.) We ran down some lovely residental streets and then along a beautiful pond with lovely landscaping. This was easily one of the prettiest runs I've been too. Tigress and I, both lame, walked/ran through this park and right back to the carpark, hoping Mustapha Kunt was nice enough to leave his trunk open.

We commented on the area and hoped someday to live in such a great neighbourhood. Back at the carpark, there was no beer available and we sat next to the toxic pond where we found snails and dead fish in abundance. Devil and Crashman came by to chat and was fascinated by the dead fish.

We could heard the horn being blown (there is no other way to say that) for 10 minutes before we saw the first hasher come out of the woods on the other side of the pond. As we climbed up the slope to the carpark, we saw some latecummers who were laughing and happy since they caught the hare. Krystal Tits was highly disappointed and festered as only she can. Everyone trickled in at this point. Bl*w Job, carrying my keys, was of course the last one in.

Of course all the hashes end the same, Dead Animal licks someone (this week being me), Captain wants to see everyone's breasts and we all have some beer. Get on with the down down's already!! 

Down downs:
Numbskull and Krystal tits for haring.
Penguin, Witchy, Flipper, PVC, Bl*w Job for being returnees.
Humper for ALMOST being late.
Captain, Oral Supplement, Eat me, Old Cheddar for being latecummers.
Yogi for trying to lose his shirt again.
Humper and Krystal tits for having bushy hair.

Tigress was stand-in RA. She almost had a fit in the middle of the circle, today having one of the rowdest circles in history.
Krystal tits for many, many offenses, being caught, etc.

There were more. Someone had mentioned that I should take notes during these down downs since I always manage to forget what happened the next day. Just seems wrong to have a paper and pen in hand when I could have a beer. Perhaps I should take this into consideration.

Oh I remember more:
Announcements:
- Witchy pans to have a camping/hashing weekend while visiting Burlington new-ish hash in June.
- Next week's run is in St-Jerome at the pied-à-terre of Tigress.
- Pig Roast Registration (May 26) will be online soon. Be sure to check the website. You can prepay Double Fisted for this event at any hash. No you can't pay me if you see me at Cheers or at any other bar or at my house or at your house...

Post-Hash:
The locals were amused. One actually waved to us during the down downs. We tried to get her to come down but she must certainly have been terrified by the likes of us. All-in-all a nice day. My nap afterward was well deserved. 

Conversation of the day:
"Oh Jeff's here"-Double Fisted
Everyone waves to Jeff.
"Who's Jeff? I only see Penguin."- Krystal Tits

Conversation of the Day v.2:
"What's PVC?"
"You know rubber, fake leather."
"OOOOOOhhhh fake lather." Big smile.

Summary:
Sun, sunblock, freckles, sweat, dead fish, never eat before you run, orange juice is always orange unless you are drinking lemonade and Jeff is Penguin.

Submitted by:
Double Fisted, Hash Scribe